Friday, April 2, 2010

Hurricanes as Teachers

When a big wind storm hits, or an earthquake knocks out the electricity, or ice builds up on power lines and tears them down, or some other type of disaster disables the power grid, here are some of the things that can be learned after seven days without electricity. It’s supposed to be “tongue in cheek” so it’s okay to smile, but I’d really like you to take it serious enough to get prepared.

Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.

No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.

My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).

Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.

He who has the biggest generator wins.

Women can actually survive without doing their hair.

A new method of non-lethal torture — cold showers

There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.

TV is an addiction, and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.

A 7-lb bag of ice will keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours.

Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents are seriously wrong.

Contrary to most beliefs, speed limits on roads without traffic lights does not increase.

Just because you're over 40 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you want. At least that's what the cops said during a curfew stop.

People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.

A Lincoln Continental will float, but it doesn't steer well.

Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.

Hampers can only contain a certain amount of clothes.

If I had a store that sold only ice, chain saws, gas and generators … I'd be rich.

Your waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.

I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.

Disaster Math 101: Thirty days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill — how does that work?????

Drywall is a compound word, take away the “dry” part and it’s worthless.

I can walk a lot farther than I thought.

The only good thing about not having telephones — you haven't had a call from a telemarketer lately, have you?

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